Saying some self-appreciating words, feeling great… … Doing these could be one of the toughest things to do when you are not confident in your abilities. Instead, you find a bunch of critiques about what you did or how you look today and compare yourself to others.

This might seem trifling at first. It might even be something you learnt while growing up, to be ‘humble’, not ‘narcissistic’, to be ‘soft and modest’ than ‘assertive and complacent’. However, to be modest, and sincere does not mean that you should stress yourself nor make yourself feel smaller. It’s about making yourself feel comfortable in your own skin.

First off, being happy with yourself does not mean that you are arrogant. It does not mean “never change”, or that “it is unnecessary to improve in some area of life”. It means to have confidence in your abilities, believing in yourself and is a sign of self-love. This is vital because when one is content with who they are, they feel better about themselves, so consequently, they also tend to look better, and do things better. To fortify this idea, researchers at Utah State University conducted a study on athletes and found out that better confidence leads to better performance, proving to us the value of self-confidence.

Without confidence, it becomes difficult to recognise your worth and nurture into who you were meant to be in this world. Conversely, when your confidence is where it should be, you will be able to stand up for yourself and push yourself over your limits and reach newer heights. How you view yourself and allow others to treat you is also a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself. When you are not comfortable in your own skin, you are more likely to feel shy, or unworthy of good things coming your way.

Do not hold yourself back. Have confidence in being different, in standing out from the crowd, and being unique. After all, these are things that makeup who you are as a person. Fall in love with yourself and your flaws. Love yourself unconditionally and make it a habit to practice some form of self-care at least once weekly. Get comfortable with your body, weaknesses, failures, personality, and so on. Get comfortable in your own skin.

Start by taking a look at the person in the mirror. What comes to mind? Are they positive or self-deprecating? Are you encouraging yourself or wallowing in the fears you created for yourself? Can you accept those flaws in the mirror?

From there on, work on yourself. Find out what exactly is making you feel insecure and inferior - they could be a childhood issue, past relationship failures or even a void in your life. Then go at your own pace towards gaining self-love. Strive to do one thing to help build your confidence each day. Perhaps you could wear something you did not think you would rock in before, or saying no to something you do not want to do. Remember, these small progressions will drive you towards your desired goal. During this journey, be mindful not to compare yourself to others because it will only break your progress while leaving you feeling empty inside.


September 23, 2020 — August Berg