No man is an island. We are all social beings by nature; we enjoy and delight in even the slightest interaction with one another. We all want to be heard from and also to hear from one another. Our day-to-day conversations have an impact on us in ways we never imagined. It plays a massive component in building meaningful relationships. Affirmative words are known to be one of the 5 love languages, a form of how many feel loved.
As we take a trip down memory lane, is there an instance where words changed the way you feel or affected you? Perhaps how words of encouragement cheered you up? Or how words caused you such hurt and pain?
Our words hold weight and influence; it can make or break. When spoken kindly, words can be like honey to the soul; it comforts and brings out the best in us even when things become overwhelming. Yet when spoken rashly, it is like a double-edged sword, that can hurt, demean and also bring despair.
While we all may have the desire to speak kindly and gently to one another, it is understandable that some of us may struggle to do the opposite. It can come from a place of pent-up frustrations, daily challenges and even from the tremendous responsibility you may carry. Often in times of vulnerability when we may be overwhelmed and frustrated, anything and everything can lead us to lash out at those we love.
Like a habitual cycle, it could happen right after a long day, we let our frustrations speak right off the bat without a filter to a loved one, and we come to regret what we said. While it may seem lonely and despairing at times when there seems to be no one that understands or no way out, there is something I would like you to take heart in, dear friend, that you're not alone and there is a way out!
Even in the world as it is today, it is indeed possible to speak kindly, and have control over what you say.
Here is something you can start with: perhaps, it's time to shift your existing paradigm. What does this mean? Take a breath to reflect and take a look at how we have been living. Have you been living from a life of reaction or a life of intentionality?
A life of reaction is where and when we merely react in our first instinct to the everyday routines and occurrences that we face. Perhaps unknowingly or knowingly, we allow the courses of life and actions of others to dictate our next course of action. More often than not, one goes with the happenings of life without much thought and hope it leads us to our very own trajectory of happiness.
While a life of intentionality is the understanding that while we may not have full control over what happens to us daily, we can always be intentional to do what matters beyond our initial reactions. In that way, we are mindful. No longer does the courses of life, and others determine the quality of our experience and happiness. Still, we intentionally pursue and act for the pleasure we desire, the life we want to live and the words we yearn to speak.
That is where we can start living beyond from a life of reaction, to a life of intentionality.
Intentionality is all about the idea of mindfulness. With whatever life may throw at us today, we can be mindful in how we act, how we can speak kindly even when dealt with a bad card.
Just like this saying that we often hear of when life gives you lemons, you make lemonades out of it! Think above your situation, about your loved ones and the things that matter to you. You're not alone; you have friends and family that cares for you too.
It is never too late to change, seize the time you have left! A reflection and decision to live from a paradigm of intentionality starting today can make a difference in how we all consciously live. You can speak kindly and love genuinely always for our words matters.
May we all find the strength to live beyond a life of reaction even times of trouble, all for those we love.